One day, my mother asked me: "Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?"
I thought for a while and said: "We shout out of frustration because we lose our calm."
She continued: "But, why do we shout when the other person is just next to us? Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?"
I gave some other answers, but none satisfied her.
Finally, she explained: "When two people are angry at each other, the distance that separates their hearts increases. Therefore they feel the need to shout at each other to be able to hear each other over the great distance that separates their hearts. The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other over that great distance."
Then, she asked: "What happens when two people fall in love? (of course i'm talking about husband and wife here). They don't shout at each other, but talk softly. Why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small."
She continued: "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, but only whisper. Finally when their love blossoms so that they are as one entity, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, they do not even need not whisper. They only look at each other and that's all. (Remember i talk about husband and wife here). That is how close two people are when they grow to love each other spiritually."
- When you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that separate each other more, else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return to your beloved.
Allah says: "Those who suppress their anger, and forgive other people assuredly, Allah loves those who do good." (AQ : Aal-e-Imran/ 3 : 134 )
It is reported on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silence..." (Sahih Muslim Book 1 No. 0075)
Allah says "Invite (all) to the Way of your Rabb (Cherisher and Sustainer) with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for your Rabb knows best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." (AQ : An-Nahl/16:125)
The Messenger of Allah sallallahu`alayhi wa sallam said: "On the Day of Judgement, Allah, the Most High, will announce, 'Where are those who love each other for the sake of My pleasure? This day I am going to shelter them in the shade provided by Me. Today there is no shade except My shade." (Sahih Muslim)